Predator. It is the truth.
But before I tell you my thoughts about the movie (I'm just pretending that somebody reads this sorry ass blog. xD), I've been in love with film as a form of entertainment ever since my old man took me to an FPJ movie when I was a kid (I'm not sure how old I was exactly, but I couldn't have been more than 9 years old). That kick started my love affair with cinema. I couldn't remember most of the movies that I saw as a child, but what I do remember, I will never ever forget. They have been burned in my consciousness. Movies like Rocky V (Sly), Terminator 2: Judgement Day (Arnie), Army of Darkness (Bruce Fuckin' Campbell), Lionheart (Van Damme), Sigaw ng Katarungan (FPJ), Reveng of the Ninja (Sho Kosugi), Under Siege (Seagal) will always be part of my memory. This was the formative years of my filmic taste, so to speak. Naturally, out of the spectrum of genres that a movie might be categorized, the Action genre is what I love the most. It is my drug. It gets me high. Not to say that I'm solely an action guy. I've learned to love other genres of cinema. Bottom line, I love stories and the motion picture is one of my favorite mediums of telling it. If I had my way, I'd forgo sleep and watch movies instead.
In recent years, much to my chagrin, I have looked on while my favorite genre faltered. The vaunted personalities of my youth declined. Arnie turned to politcs, Sly turned diminished from the public eye, Van Damme and Seagal became shadows of their former selves. Van Damme and Seagal didn't disappear though. They became jokes after turning in shit movie after shit movie. They still make movies, but it's been a long time since any of these got a theatrical release (just direct to video).
Over the years, I've seen other actors attempt to rejuvenate action cinema, but it just isn't the same. Most of these actors are pretty boys that couldn't hold a candle to Sly and Arnie in their hey day. These dopes are just pretenders to the throne, lacking an ingredient that the real kings possessed, pure badass quality (for lack of a better term). Their just pretty boys with their carefully styled hair and perfect teeth. They can't achieve the manly ruggedness that was so effortlessly demonstrated by Sly with Marion Cobretti in Cobra and Arnie's Det. John Kimble in the beginning of Kindergarten Cop, no matter how hard they try (for the record, the examples are two of the worst movies from each of these guys' filmography, but their presence somehow saves it from being total shitpiles, in my opinion).
I have now come to the realization that those days are over. The action films that I love most were a product of their time. I don't know what it was in the eighties that made this movies work, but work they did. These films couldn't have been made today, and even if they did, I'm unsure if they'd enjoy the same amount of success. So there's nothing else that an action fan like myself can do but look back. If I ever want to quench my cinematic blood lust, (heh) all I have to do is go back to my old faves.
Thus this long winded blog post. I saw, for the upteenth time, what has got to be the manliest manly movie ever made. The movie's mere existence is by itself a miracle, a fluke. Two of the biggest names in action, at their prime, chose to collaborate to make this masterpiece of action cinema, Predator. Arnold Schwarzenegger/ Arnie, coming of in fresh from riddling 100 mercs with bullets in Commando, is in his peak physically and his star has been on constant rise up to that point. John McTiernan, who would go on to make a big star out of Bruce Willis with Die Hard the following year, makes the second best movie of his career as director. The producer of this movie was either a genius, or a really lucky bastard.
The plot: A Black Ops team, led by Arnie's Duke,who specializes on hostage situations is employed by the CIA to retrieve an American diplomat captured by South American rebels camped in the middle of the jungle. Sounds simple enough. Dillon (Apollo Creed himself, Carl Weathers), a CIA operative and a one time friend of Duke (we know this because they arm wrestle when they shook hands) insisted on coming along. The team gets dropped in the middle of the jungle. It didn't take long before they found the first team to be sent to rescue mission, hung by their feet on the trees and apparently skinned. They blame this on the rebels but we know something fishy is going on. From the moment they landed, they are being spied on by an unknown creature. We know this because we see through it's POV and it's sort of a thermovision special effect. Everything else has a greenish hue except for the team which is has a red hue, perhaps because of the body temperature. We also know that the creature is an extra-terrestrial because the very first shot of the movie is an alien spaceship deploying a smaller pod towards Earth. That's my interpretation and I'll stand by it.
It didn't take long for the team to reach the rebel encampment, and they didn't wait to commence their attack. What follows is one of the most spectacular action sequences ever submitted to film. Gun fetishists will drool on the firearms on display here. Most notable is Blain's (Jesse 'The Body' Ventura) modified minigun. The same ones that can be found on the side of Apache's or Raptors. It's one huge gun. A large cylindrical multi-barreled chainsaw of a gun that rotates whilst spewing 20 bullets a second. Explosions, unlimited supply of bullets, and seemingly unlimited supply of enemies to shoot are the main ingredients of this sequence. Needless to say that Dukes team won and the Rebel Camp is decimated. They soon learned that they were tricked by the CIA. There are no hostages to capture and the real mission is to destroy the rebels. Duke got pissed. Tension in the team brews. This is when the fun begins.
The Alien stalker following them is of course the titular Predator. It's a hunter, living for the thrill of pursuit. It uses high technology to hunt it's prey. It has the ability to become invisible with his cloaking technology, and has some sort of cannon perched on top of it's shoulder. One by one, Duke's team is taken out. Naturally, they fight back, setting up traps, preparing an ambush. Needless to say that not everyone makes it alive. Most of the men's deaths are awesome though, so it was all good. All this leading to the climactic one on one confrontation between Duke and the Predator, where all Duke had to win was his physical acumen, his hand crafted weapons, and most especially, his cunning.
I wouldn't hail this as the manliest manly movie ever if it wasn't for the character flourishes though. The film-makers succeeded in making a very entertaining whilst endearing the audience to the characters. Although the team consists of 7 individuals, each were given their own time to shine. Some shone more than others though, and Ventura's Blain almost stole the show. When they were attacking the rebel hideout, Poncho noticed blood on Blain's left arm. Blain appeared to be unaffected by it though. A concerned Poncho tells Blain that he's bleeding. Blain answers "I ain't got time to bleed." Simple. Bad-Ass. It's the kind of awesomeness that won't be seen again. Ventura almost stole the whole movie for me, too bad his character had to go early.
Anyway, this is Arnie's movie. Nobody is going to take it from him. As I've said, he is in top physical form here. He actually had to decrease his muscle mass to attain a believable physique of special forces operative. And that heavy German accent of his makes every line he delivers instantly cool. When he found out that the Alien got wounded and bled neon green glow-in-the-dark blood, he uttered "If it bleeds, we can kill it" inspiring his men to become more proactive and take on an offensive stance against the beast.
The direction by McTiernan is just top-notch. That is all I can say. It was shot beautifully, and the violence, while stylized, is brutal. The pace was brisk and it didn't slow down at all. Another person that should get mentioned is Stan Winston, may he rest in peace. His make-up effects work for the Predator is ground breaking. Much like the Alien design, his creature design for this movie is just memorable. "You one ugly motherfucker!" is all Duke could say when he saw the Predator's mug for the very first time when it took off it's mask.
My only complaint though is the inclusion of the token female character. I knew it was a necessity to avoid being a total sausage fest but I wish she was given more to do, other than being in danger. She was integral to the plot to explain the Predator's motivation, that she isn't a suitable prey because the Predator only goes for armed badasses.
This 'review' has gone on to long. To sum it up, this movie is just one of the very best action movies ever made and I see myself revisiting it in the years to come. I attempted to explain why this is the manliest manly movie ever. I doubt if I succeeded but I hope I at least got you curious to see it if you haven't yet. But I know in my heart of hearts that this is what I proclaim it to be. The manliest manly movie ever made. I felt like I grew an extra testicle by watching it. For me, this movie represents everything that an action movie should be. The heroes are tough as nails, and the action is spectacular. It's a great time in the movies without feeling any guilt afterwards. Nobody is trying to fiddle with your heartstrings, and it requires minimal brain activity, but I don't feel stupid while watching it. Too bad they don't make them like they used to.
